Zounds

March 9, 1995

My title is one of those words that expresses surprise, astonishment, amazement or disgust. In my lifetime, I have heard a variety of such words and expressions. For example:

“God Save the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.” An older man I knew used this frequently to voice his surprise or revulsion at some shocking news or event. I was a young man – he called me “younker.”

“Jumping Jeehosaphat” - similarly used by an older generation.

“Jeezus H. Christ”. I never understood the “H” but it was profanity to comment on something that seemed disgusting.

“Is there intelligent life on earth?” An expression of the Space Age when we were wondering if there was life on other planets. Some queer event or statement caused one to wonder that if an alien species from outer space would find any intelligence here on earth if they landed in their flying saucer (or teacup or soup bowl or frisbee).

All of these expressions almost failed me when when I read two items in the Lakeland Ledger, yesterday.

The first story concerned Newt Gingrich, who is in the news every day. He was quoted as saying that many newspaper editorial boards contained “socialists.” He hinted that business companies should be canceling their advertisements from papers that “oppose their views.”

Gingrich was quoted as defining a “socialist” as “someone who believes that raising and lowering taxes have no effect on economic conduct.”(!!!)

Editorial boards: They are at least middle-of-the-road, more likely conservative to smaller or larger degrees to the right. My criticism is that they give little or no space to liberal or left-wing opinions. The media are CONSERVATIVE, Newt. But unlike you, I do not believe in a boycott. I don’t know if the “Daily Worker” or the “Guardian” are still published, but I used to enjoy reading them now and then just to be in touch with what the far-left wing was pushing.

When the Speaker defines a Socialist as “someone who believes that raising and lowering taxes have no effect on economic conduct,” where’s he coming from? Look in your dictionary, you will not find that. If you are a student of economics, where would you locate Gingrich’s definition?

I am not a student of economics. But I have conversed with socialists, given and taken criticism many times. They would find that definition an indication of total ignorance of socialist theory.

I met the late Norman Thomas one time when he was a speaker in a church I served. He was the perennial candidate of the Socialist Party for President in the 1920s and 30s. One did not have to agree with his socialist theory and politics (I didn’t) but to argue theory with Norman Thomas, you had better be familiar with the writings Adam Smith, Ricardo, Hobbes, Mill, Marx and Engels – because he knew their theories. Furthermore, Thomas had a keen sympathy for deprived, poor, and exploited peoples that Speaker Gingrich might well seek to understand and emulate.

The second item in yesterday’s Lakeland Ledger that provoked Jumping Jeehosaphat was the Cal Thomas column. He is the strident voice of far-right wing fundamentalist Christian religion. former officer of the Moral (sic) Majority. Cal Thomas was bemoaning the switch from Democrat to Republican by Colorado Senator Ben Nighthorse Campbell (what a charming name). The columnist believes this is bad news for the Republican Party because Ben Nighthorse Campbell is pro-choice for women; he voted to lift the ban on funding for abortion for poor women; he supported the President on gays in the military.

The only reply Thomas deserves from Ben Nighthorse Campbell is to quote Shakespeare – Act I, Sc. 2 – where Coriolanus reproves the fickle crowd that had turned against him:

“He that depends
Upon your favors swims
with fins of lead
And hews down oaks with rushes.”

Zounds and Egad – if I were a Republican who was civic-minded rather than ideologically adamant, I would rejoice in the switch of parties. We would have less to fear from Republican insensitivity to human need if there were more in their ranks of the caliber of Senator Ben Nighthorse Campbell.