Old Age Is Not For Sissies

September 8, 1996

“Old age is not for sissies.” - Bette Davis, late famous actress

One of my co-residents at Jefferson Center, Helen Harwood, is the most remarkable person I have met since coming to Sarasota. She is 98 years old, small and thin in stature, fully alert mentally, has a cheery laugh and does volunteer work daily (sewing, washing, ironing) at “The Players,” the theater across the street.

We had immediate empathy because Helen is the daughter of John Murray Atwood, Dean of the Theological School when I was at St. Lawrence University. John Murray Atwood was a greater influence on my adult life than any other person. I had lived here only a few days when she phoned me and asked if I was the Carl Westman who was at Canton in the 1940s.

Sitting with her this morning in church, she asked me if I had ever met her Aunt Nora. I never had. Helen then told me that her Aunt Nora was very strict and straitlaced. When Helen was a little girl, she referred to her father as “Dad”. Aunt Nora was very cross because in Aunt Nora’s view, “Dad” was unacceptable slang. She dragged Helen into the kitchen and sprinkled pepper on her tongue. Then she shut Helen in a closet.

After a while, the closet door opened and there was her father, John Murray Atwood, holding out a box of chocolates for Helen and telling her she could call him “Dad” as much as she wanted. That’s how she still refers to him!!

If you ever knew the Dean, you are not surprised at all. That was typical of his generosity and wisdom, not only with his family, but also, frequently enough with his students on far more serious matters.

Then Helen told me of her recent visit with her daughter and how bored Helen was because everybody insisted on waiting on her, not letting her do things for herself. She was so glad, she told me, to get back to Jefferson and go across to “The Players” to do fifteen loads of wash. (costumes, stage garments, etc.)

As I noted, Helen is in her 99th year. When we held hands at the end of the church service, she could hold mine only with two fingers because the others are so crippled with arthritis. But what I will remember are her sharp brain and indomitable spirit.

Old Age is not for sissies!!!!