October 3rd to 7th were some of the most meaningful days of my life. My family came great distances to celebrate my 90th birthday, October 4.
The festivities began October 3rd with dinner at Sara’s. Bill, Alicia and Erik had arrived earlier. Alicia, after finding the necessary pans, baked a sumptuous birthday cake.
Arriving at various times:
From Brasilia – Bill, Alicia, Erik
From California – Marj, Dale, Mark, Martin, Lauren
From Tennessee – Carl A.
From Virginia – Kathy, Ken, Erica, Alex, Ralph, Marie and her friend, David
From Maryland – Shawn
From Oregon – Janet, Ron, Christina, Ian
From South Carolina – Michael
From Atlantic Beach, Florida – John, Renee, Kevin, Andrea, Troy, Kyle, Serena
[My] birthday, October 4, was celebrated at the large house Marj and Dale had rented on Longboat Key. Delicious barbecued food, a champagne toast to the old man, delightful inter-relationships as family members enjoyed each other’s company.
Members of the family did all the planning. I did not have to do anything but be there and enjoy. And enjoy I did.
One consequence of old age is one shrinks in height. But even before my two inch loss, grandsons Michael, Carl, Ian, Ralph would have towered over me – all of them well over six feet tall. And all the other males were taller than I am except for the great-grandchildren.
Then on Friday, October 5, was the open house at the Sarasota Unitarian Universalist church. The courtesy of the church in providing the most appropriate South Wing was much appreciated. I was placed in a chair where people could come and greet me – and the estimate is that over 150 people came, most of them from the Sarasota membership, but also friends from Lakeland, Winter Haven, Tampa, Port Charlotte.
The family, with Sara’s help, did all the planning. I understand John and Ron had to make two additional food and wine “runs.” I was overwhelmed by the affectionate warmth of the occasions. I can only echo Cardinal Wolsey in HENRY VIII (Act II) where he says:
“For your great graces
Heap’d upon me, poor undeserver, I
Can nothing render but allegiant thanks, ....”
I am very grateful that I was the catalyst for a wonderful family reunion. In addition, I received a deluge of greeting cards.
Let me go on record right now – after this carnival of joys, hugs, memories, hopes, gifts, great food, fine wine, when I reach “the undiscover’d country from whose bourn, no traveler returns,” when I have “bought the farm,” or other euphemism for the inevitable hand of death, no memorial or funeral service is at all necessary. Wherever you happen to be. Open a bottle of bubbly or other favorite beverage and talk old times. If you wish, there are two favorite readings you can meditate on. The first is Shakespeare, of course, from THE TEMPEST, where Prospero tells Ferdinand (Act IV, Sc. i)
“These our actors,
As I foretold you, were all spirits and
Are melted into air, into thin air;
And, like the baseless fabric of this vision,
The cloud-capped towers, the gorgeous palaces,
The solemn temples, the great globe itself,
Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve,
And like this insubstantial pageant faded,
Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff
As dreams are made on, and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep.”
The second meditative piece is from the writings of Bertrand Russell:
“An individual human existence should be like a river – small at first, narrowly confined within its banks, and rushing passionately past boulders and over waterfalls. Gradually the river grows wider, the bank recedes, and the waters flow more quietly, and in the end, without any visible break, they become merged in the sea, and painlessly lose their individual being. The man who, in old age, can see his life this way, will not suffer from the fear of death, since the things he cares for will continue.”
Hallelujah and salutations.
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